As every Courtier, Seneschal, and Chatelaine knows, there is nothing more important than making a positive image at Court. There is no price to great to pay, nor any challenge so difficult, that it cannot be borne in order to make one's standing in Court that tiny bit better. Every Noblewomen recognizes her place, furthering her husband's position and influence, and every child and servant of a Noble knows that their appearance and behavior reflect on the Noble upon whom they depend. A Nobleman's ambitions may be scuttled by an uncouth remark, an inappropriate appearance, or a crass child, and, likewise, a Nobleman's flaws may be hidden behind a perfect suit, superb manners, well trained children, and obedient servants.
We here at Hunde & Edelstein, LLC, recognize the importance of making an impression at court. We recognize the hardships faced by the very wealthy, and we sympathize with the difficulties that Nobles face. Although we are aware that, as commoners, we can not truly appreciate the pain of wealth, power, and status, we do wish to do something to help. So, after many years of research, questionnaires, and development, we are pleased to finally offer our line of high quality products aimed at making Courtly life more bearable for our leaders and guides. So, without further ado, we present the Hunde & Edelstein Catalogue of Courtly Treasures, a collection of fashionable items to delight the Noblewoman's heart and bring envy to her fellow courtiers.
Disclaimer: All items here are products of the exhaustive research and development of H&E scientists and celebrity consultants. All items are designed from scratch to meet the latest fashions and trends. However, due to the slow pace of Interstellar Travel, some items may be out of fashion in areas further from the Imperial Capital by the time they can arrive. In all such cases, H&E will happily replace the no-longer-fashionable item with one of equal or lesser value, for a small re-stocking fee.
A note on color:Many items ask you to specify the color of fabric or other items to the precise visible wavelength. For your convenience, the basic wavelength guide is reproduced here*: red 700-635 nm orange 635-590 nm yellow 590-560 nm green 560-490 nm blue 490-450 nm violet 450-400 nm * Used with permission from the work Wesidi Seli Sidi Sidi, by Assi Sias.
We at Hunde & Edelstein, LLC use only the most vibrant aniline dyes to obtain the finest, most lasting colors. For precisely determined shades of colors, please see your Baronial Tailor, any local scientist, or your husband for assistance. All prices are for the garment or other item. Delivery charges are solely the responsibility of the customer, and vary with location. It is the policy of H&E to ship by X-Boat Service or by Major Couriers. We do not employ the services of Free Traders or other undesirable elements.
Section One: ApparelBodice: A bodice covers the lady from neck to waist. Those made by H&E are made only from the finest Argiope silk, and are liberally decorated with tasteful brocades. Necklines, sleeves, and waistlines match the styles common to The Imperial Court on the day that the individual bodice is made. Please specify dimensions (your Baronial Tailor or Seamstress will know how to do this) when ordering. Please specify color to the precise wavelength in visible light for the base fabric. Cr1,000, ships within 26 hours of receipt of the order.
Chemise: A chemise covers the lady from shoulders to ankles, and is worn next to the skin to absorb a lady's glow and protect her delicate skin. Our chemises are designed to show fabric at the cuffs and neckline, to emphasize that the lady has the means to afford multiple layers of expensive clothing, so as to make the best possible impression. Chemises are white or off white, and are made with real cotton ("algodon") grown on Terra or from cotton grown in Terran soil under natural light from Sol. This item does not go out of style. Please specify dimensions (your Baronial Tailor or Seamstress will know how to do this) when ordering. Cr 200 for the plain item, Cr 400 for item decorated with lace at the neckline, cuffs, and hemline. Ships within 26 hours of receipt of the order. Special Note: This item is especially popular with Her Excellency Kari-Ni, the hostess of the tri-vid fashion program, "How Wealthy Ladies Dress". Her Excellency purchases undergarments solely from H&E.
Skirt: A skirt covers the lady from waist to ankles. A garment of lesser length is not appropriate for a member of the Court. Those made by H&E are made only from the finest Argiope silk. Waistlines, belts, and panels match the styles common to The Imperial Court on the day that the individual skirt is made. Please specify dimensions (your Baronial Tailor or Seamstress will know how to do this) when ordering. Please specify color to the precise wavelength in visible light for the base fabric. Cr 500, ships within 26 hours of receipt of the order.
Stockings: Stockings cover the lady from mid thigh to the entirety of the foot. Those made by H&E are made only from the finest Argiope silk. Complimentary elastic garters are included. Please specify dimensions (your Baronial Tailor or Seamstress will know how to do this) when ordering. Please specify color to the precise wavelength in visible light for the base fabric. Cr 500, ships within 26 hours of receipt of the order.
Section Two: Apparel AccessoriesBodice Knife: The bodice knife is a lady's weapon, designed for the delicate features of a lady's hand. The weapon comes in an elegantly detailed scabbard (please Specify the Imperial Badge, or a local badge or other Heraldic device), and is designed to fit comfortably inside the bodice, between the lady's attributes, for quick and handy access. Please specify white or black base color. Cr40 for knife and scabbard.
Broach: Elegantly made of gold and platinum, with high quality steel pins and clasps. The precise design matches the one most recently worn by the Emperor's favored concubine - perhaps even the one worn on the same day as manufacture! Please specify the color of the cabochon to the precise visible wavelength, and select up to three stones (five if you are of the rank of Duchess or above, or are purchasing for one of such rank) from our list of gemstones below. Cr 1,000, plus the cost of gemstones.
Earring and Necklace Set: Metals and stones will vary. We make sets to order, based on the most recent specifications by the Imperial Princess. Worn at court, these tasteful, elegant sets are sure to impress. Cr 1,000, plus the cost of gemstones.
Handbags: Quality bags made to order from the finest Araneus silk, reinforced with quality vellum and lined with more silk. Please specify the precise color wavelength of the dominant color of the outfit which the bag will accompany; please specify only ONE outfit per bag. Handles are made from the endangered suggii cane from Vland, meaning that the handbags will remain collector's items well into the future; the handles are wrapped in leather from newly hatched Oimo lizards from the Sa swamps of Vland. The bags have several magnetically closing pockets in an elegant spiral pattern, and a spacious main compartment perfect for carrying cosmetics, an extra outfit, or a small pet (see below). Cr 2,000.
Rings: Quality rings made of gold and iridium, these are a Hunde & Edelstein, LLC exclusive. We do not change the form to match changing fashions. The rings are not set with gemstones. In recognition of Imperial law and the basic rights of sophonts, we pledge that there is no slave labor involved in the mining or transportation of metals used to forge these rings. Cr 1,000, please specify ring size when ordering.
Section Three: GemstonesAt H&E, we know that only the finest natural gemstones are good enough for our customers. Therefore, we reject all stones that have flaws or inclusions of any type (some stones may have inclusions burned out with a laser), unless a customer specifically requests such an item - then, we begin an exhaustive search to find precisely the item that the customer requested. Then the stone must be cut to the customers satisfaction. All of this is time consuming and expensive. However, when it is all done, our valued customer has a stone to be proud of.
When ordering, please specify the type of gemstone and color. Many gemstones are found in numerous colors. Some stones change color when heat treated, please specify if this is desired. Your Chatelaine, Seneschal, or Butler can assist you with this.
When ordering, please specify cut: We cut stones to the shapes known as Baguette, Brilliant, Briolette, Emerald Cut, Heart Brilliant, Marquise, Old European, Old Mine, Oval Brilliant, Pear Brilliant, and Square Brilliant. Cabochons are cut solely for brooches, above. Stones requiring an Eight Cut clearly do not match our standards of quality. We do not use the Rose Cut, because "Economy" is not a part of our sales plan. We pledge to never sell a stone with missing or extra facets. At H&E, we are confident that every young lady of means will know by heart what each cut looks like.
When ordering, please specify the size of the stone, either in dimensions or in carat weight. For a rough estimate of price, assume that the basic stone is going to cost about Cr10,000 per carat, to cover perfection and discovery. Cutting the stone to a Cabochon costs Cr500, to any other style costs Cr1,000 per carat. The actual final cost may be 10% to 60% greater than this base cost, depending on the perfection of the stone. For the lady's protection against theft, and for our own protection against Imperial Regulators, all stones which we sell are laser etched with unique Imperial Identification Numbers, which any jeweler can display. We keep a permanent record of all transactions, and we know who owns what stone.
Section Four: Love StonesAt Hunde & Edelstein, LLC, we felt that the Love Stone selection should be separate from mere gemstones, which are dug from the ground. Love Stones have a special value, all their own.
When an aging parent, beloved pet, dear spouse, or precious child is taken from a noblewoman, what is the poor lady to do but have the body cremated and pressed into an artificial gem for her to keep for ever? The practice is believed known on Terra, the birthplace of Humaniti, as early as the first Solomani spaceflight!
Upon the death of your loved one, a special courier from H&E will collect the remains of your special person or pet. The remains will be transported to one of our facilities with the utmost care and respect, and the body will be consumed in a cleansing flame. The remaining ash will be treated to a second process (no need to bore the lady with the science), from which will emerge a perfect, flawless diamond, chemically indistinguishable from a natural one. At the lady's option, dyes may be used during the process to produce stones of specific color. The entire matter is handled with tact, taste, and delicacy.
The stone will be etched with an Imperial Gemstone Identification Number and the name of the deceased. They are delivered in a setting of your choice (up to 35 grams in weight), with a signed certificate of authenticity. The cost is a trifling Cr 30,000 per stone, plus the cost of transporting the deceased to our facility.
An available variant of the Love Stone process is the Hate stone. Think about this, gentle lady; has someone blocked your husband's ambitions...or your own...or those of your son? Did another, lower ranking lady, wear the same dress as you to the ball? Did you have to settle for a lesser husband because of a man-crazy rival? We will render your foe into a stone just as we would a loved one, so that you may "get your own" back by wearing the person who hurt you! For no additional fee, we can add microfractures or small inclusions (rodent feces is a popular material for this) to show just how flawed your opponent was. Hate stones do not bear the name of the donor of the base material. We ask Cr 30,000, plus any fees associated with collecting your enemy. Production of these stones is handled with discretion. Our skilled collection staff is standing by!
Section Five: PetsAll animals offered for sale here are from clone stock. Upon purchase, the relevant stock is sent to your vicinity and grown locally. All samples are guaranteed to be free of genetic and other defects, resistant to disease, intelligent and trainable, and to have the full telomere count for their species (so that they do not have a shortened lifespan).
Mini-Monkey: This gene-lab derived species combines the best traits of several Terran monkey species, and eliminates most of their bad traits. They grow to about 3 and 1/4 inches tall. They are quick witted, loyal, and affectionate. They sit docilely during travel, clambering to the shoulder of a sophont companion when at rest. They do not beg or steal food, and eat only what is given to them by a trusted family member. Mini-Monkey samples are derived from the DNA of the famed, intelligent, adaptable Gene-show Champion Raven Amethyst, who still holds the record for most intelligent monkey in the Imperium. Please do not abandon them, as they have no ability to survive independently. Please specify coat color and pattern. Please allow 136 days for delivery of the infant monkey after the sample arrives on your planet. May live up to 40 years. Cost Cr 2,000
Purse Pet: This pet is intended for those ladies who just HAVE to have their little pookums. The purse pet is small enough to fit in our quality handbags, yet big enough to defend itself against small rodents. They are fiercely loyal and will threaten strangers, they are also affectionate, and less-well-to-do women will envy you for your little pet. Like the Mini-Monkey, they are grown locally to you and delivered young. They grow to 7 inches in length. Please specify coat color and pattern. Please allow 60 days for delivery after arrival of the samples. May live up to 7 years. Cr 2,000. Purse dogs are described at length in the best-selling celebrity expose, "Why Rich Women Make Me Want to Barf," by Codi Innihui.
Here, sadly, we conclude this edition of our catalogue. We hope to serve you in the years to come, and remember, at Hunde & Edelstein, LLC, our goal is to be "The Noblewoman's Best Friend!"